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8/16/2009 -i hear birds coming and passing outside my balcony
Cold breeze from the sea ventilates our house
the sky illuminates a vibrant blue meeting the dark sea at the horizon
clouds float lazily between the sky and i, inching gracefully towards the south
downstairs, lie plates of grapes, kiwis, cherrys, apples and mandirins
next to me, a glass of green tea freshly brewed after lunch
I do wonder, what have i done to deserve such luxury?
the luxury of the sea, the fruits, the lifestyle i have
and if such luxuries come at an expense of others?
I do not know enough to explain how or when this happened
If i live in such abundance in a world of limited resources
it must've came frome somewhere...
and if i were to give them back
i wouldnt know how or where
Sitting on the priveledged side of the fence
I know too little about where it all came from
7/16/2009 对不起我爱你 ; sorry i love u
a drama i fell in love with today we met on youtube by chance ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- My after thoughts: I wonder if there are hearts this kind, love this deep in reality
6/11/2009 holiday plan11th june - 27th july:
1. application for travelling studio
2. application for research job
3. Read 2 books
4. research for development project
5. search for jobs (aus and international)
6. develop portfolio
7. spare time hobbies - karaoke, painting
8. Search for overseas short courses take meFact is i will never be happy
i dont think anything on this planet is enough to make me happy
im expecting jigsaw to take me out
and put me in his room to "teach me a lesson"
people come out of that room loving their life
but in the latest saw movie, he kinda ruined that
in SawIXVMD (wotever it was), it was about punishment
rather than anything else...which ruins EVERYTHING that the first 4 was about
It just comes to show that the longer u drag a thing the more dreadful it gets
(also comes to show, u shudnt change directors for sequals, u lose so much along the way)
My point is ... am i that spoiled? why do i want the WORLD?
6/6/2009 如果有一个拥抱勇敢不计代价， 别让我飞， 让我温柔豢养 陈绮贞的歌， 鱼
 If there were an embrace courageously selfless, dont let me away, keep me here 6/4/2009 An oyster at a buffet2/16/2009 ehetched into the bottom of my mind
though everything's changed, everything
it's not time that changed everything
we changed everything
At the end of the day if i were judged by what i had let go
i would do pretty well, probably score a seat next to jesus himself
this life is like the sea
The sea will always be the sea
but never the same one
With every drop of time, it is a different wave pushing on to its shore
Even if the sea dries up to a buckets worth of water,
its still the sea, the same sea
1/13/2009 emo timeyeh
I am quite sure im going back to the wrong person for the wrong reasons
but the process of cutting out any part of you is just excruciating
like kimo when you try to get rid of cancer
so yeh
im going through my very own mental kimo RIGHT now as i struggle to fall asleep despite feeling worn out and drained of all energy.
I never thought id sink to this level
so reliant on a pathetic boy, yes a boy, not even a man
and blogging seems to be the only cure to all the frustration & suppression that's keeping sandman away
Its a fine line between treating someone really really good and kissing their ass
and that line just got too blurry for me
so yeh
The precious lesson i have learnt is that
always love yourself 5% more than you love anybody else(excluding your parents & grandparents if you know them well)
11/22/2008 gdfwhat better time to blog?!
this is perfect
: )
so....typsy
its great :D
alcohol turns joy into sorrow
and vice versa...
its perculiar...
im not sure if im *out of it* when im sober or when im drunk
just out of it! tsktsk so lost i am! tsktsk!!! 10/16/2008 Why i LOVE museHe sounds like a drug addict who's about to break down the next second
then hits you with this certainty in his voice in the chorus, the kind of certainty only possessed by the alpha-males
and at the end of it, he goes back to the drug addict who just had an ephiphany and lost it as the drug worn off
10/14/2008 I had a dream...and its probably best i dont touch it.When I moved school from Wuhan to tianjing
There were rumours that...O...liked me
and everybody was asking me if i liked him too
And i kept saying NO i dont like him even though i did
I stayed in that school for 3 year
the rumour went on for 3 years
I liked him secretly for 3 years
and for 3 year, we spoke to each other once
He had big eyes, a big smile, dark skin and shy.
I dont know why I just couldnt admit I liked him
and I dont know why he never tried to talk to me more
and I will never know if he actually liked me for as long as i had liked him
I still remember when we had to walk the flag together,
The teacher had to choose a boy and a girl to walk the flag
coincidence?
He held one corner of the flag
and i held the other
and we had to walked the flag down the class room for god remembers what reason!?
i cant remember what the weather was yesterday
But I can remember that hour from 10 years ago
And I still remember the time when we were coming back from a school excursion
he was sitting right behind me at the very last row of the bus
and someone asked O out loud..."Do you like V..."
I sat stiff, looking down at the floor...
I can't remember what he replied
but neither the word yes or no was in it
Im not sure why no one teased me about liking him...but i kind of wish they did
The last and final time of our confrontations with each other
is when i was about to come to australia
The class had a fare well party for me
Being 11 year olds...everybody pushed him to say something to me
And all he said was...i hope u dont forget china and cheer for the Chinese soccer team
i replied...ok i will always cheer for china...
and this was the one time we spoke to each other directly in the 3 years of being in the same class;
having the same friends;
eating in the same canteen;
playing in the same gym...
This was so long ago...its almost like a dream
Nothing is forever?
i think these memories will be.
silly me
9/30/2008 -a splash of green
a squirt of yellow
a dash of red
a splat of blue
da da da da da
da da da da da
da da da da da
simple
oo oo oo oo oo
oo oo oo oo oo
oo oo oo oo oo
9/18/2008 better mani cannot be the better man i want to be
i want endless summer
i feel the shame
am i growing through this pain!?
send someone to love me
i need to rest in arms
keep me safe from harm
in pooring rain |
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